Tuesday, August 28, 2012

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day ...

Or as I more lovingly like to say:  Shitty things went down yesterday like it was going out of style.  We’ve all been there.  It was the kind of day that makes you want to go home, lay on the couch, drink two bottles a bottle of wine, and stuff your face with oreos dipped in wine.  What?  You don’t dip your oreos in wine?  Whatev.

Simply put:  Yesterday was awful.  It was the kind of day that derails diets, halts exercising, and crushes healthy living in general.  Here is a short synopsis of my emotionally fueled, anxiety-driven day.  Thinking about it makes me want to pop a Xanax.  I kid…sort of.

I was set to have lunch with my mom before she traveled back home.  It was supposed to be our goodbye lunch and I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e with goodbyes.  It doesn’t matter who I am saying goodbye to, I cry.  We decided on lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  Great.  How am I supposed to eat something {semi} healthy at a Mexican restaurant without my emotions taking over and ordering for me in some weird out-of-body experience?  Somehow, and I’m not sure how, I ordered the chicken fajitas with no cheese.  Good choice number one.  I ate two and took the rest to go.  Good choice number two.  I said my tear-filled goodbye to my mom and drove back to my office sobbing.  I tried to pull it together before walking in.  I was struggling with that part, so I wore my sunglasses inside for the next hour.  I knew that if any of my co-workers asked me what was wrong I’d lose it and they just might think I had taken my final journey on the crazy train.  Sunglasses seemed like a good way to camouflage my red, swollen eyes at the time, because you know it’s not weird to wear your sunglasses inside your office at all.  Sigh.   

So, I made it through the afternoon.  I was still pretty upset and I had to work that night also.  Here comes my second goodbye for the day.  Last night was my final night working for a family that I had been working with for the past two years (I helped take care of their young son who has Cerebral Palsy).  Who has this many goodbyes in one day?  Apparently I do.  Again, I was totally dreading this and just wanted to go home and nap before I had to be at their house.

But what did I do?  I logged on to Facebook and checked out the Fit Camp and I knew I had to go to the gym.  So, off to the gym I went.  I logged 45-minutes of intervals on the elliptical and I was feeling pretty damn good about myself.  Yes, the day was shitty, but I just made my third good choice for the day.  Who was this person?

So, I went to work, said my goodbyes to the family, and cried some more.  As I’m driving home I’m thinking, “I made it through the day and now I can go home and just go to bed.”  Not so fast.  Just as these thoughts are escaping my pretty little mind, my phone rings.  It’s my sister.  She’s calling to let me know that she’s in the ER with my adorable 18-month-old niece who has a 105-degree temperature.  Really?  Could this day be any worse?  Now I’m even more upset and anxious then I was before and I really want those oreos with wine milk.     

I get home.   Exhausted.  On the verge of yet more tears.  I swear I usually don’t cry this much, but jeez the day was killing me.  I’m still debating on those oreos.  Yes. No. Yes. No.  And then I start to have a pep-talk with myself.  Yes, I do talk to myself.  A lot.  Why would I throw away all of those good choices I made during the day?  My {half-way} healthy lunch and the working out.  At that moment I make the decision that I, skinny girl in training, do not need those oreos to fill better.  The wine?  Yes, but not tonight.  

I climb in to bed.  I’m still worried about my niece when my sister calls to say she will be okay.  She has a virus and they don’t need to admit her or give her any fluids.  Of course, they didn’t escape the ER without her needing a catheter or finding out that the patient in room 27 had testicular pain.

As I fell asleep last night, I felt truly proud of the decisions I had made during the day to continue forward with my healthy lifestyle journey.  I felt at peace.  In that moment I knew everything was going to be okay.  Will there be other terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days?  Yes.  Will it be a struggle to make healthy decisions on those days?  Yes.  Am I better person because of that?  Definitely.

I hope you all have found this journey leaving you feeling stronger and more confident, because believe me you all inspire me.  Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  You.  

XOXO –

Lindsay W., your fellow fit-camper

And because every post really does need a picture, here is a picture of my adorable niece: 


8 comments:

  1. Lindsay, thanks again for your post. I absolutely love the humor in your writing. Especially, when you can find it in a crap day. Here's to you having a great week! We'd love to have you back here anytime. Xo. ~ Jen J.

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  2. Great post! You should invest in some Oreo Dipped Bars, they are only 100cals a bar. No, I am not encouraging unhealhty eating, but I do have a love for Oreos also and I know what it's like to have to talk yourself out of eating them! I hope you have a better day today!

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  3. Love this post! Making good decisions in the midst of our crazy, not-so-perfect lives is what makes us stronger. Thanks for the reminder that even though we have bad days, it's not a bad life. There's always a new day! :)

    http://www.hookedfromhello.blogspot.com

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  4. Thanks for this! It's a really great reminder that every choice is just that...a CHOICE.

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  5. I love how one good decision leads to another. If I start my day off right, I'm usually on track all day!

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  6. Wow! What a day! Way to be strong! Thanks for sharing your story and helping inspire others!'

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  7. Wow, what a tough day... sorry for that. I'm so glad you were able to make good decisions throughout though... that's such a huge accomplishment in this journey! Great job... hope today is a much easier day for you!

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  8. Wow...that does sound like a horrible, emotional day. Way to go on not eating your stress away. Now you know you can do it when you have another bad day. Keep it up!! Hope things get better!

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