Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Girl In My Reflection


I don’t want to say that I’ve struggled with weight my entire life, because I don’t think that’s accurate.  I can say however, that weight has been in the forefront of my mind for as long as I remember.  Looking at photos of myself as a kid, I was definitely not fat.  None of the kids were fat back then.  That was before highly processed foods for breakfast and video games after school.  I wasn’t fat, but I wasn’t one of the skinny kids.  Never was.

I was often singled out as a young girl.  One of my earliest memories, I was made fun of for falling.  I was probably in first or second grade.  You see, there was a huge divot in the asphalt on the playground.  Almost like something was sitting on it when it was drying.  It was there for years, but one day I fell on it on accident while playing.  A few of the girls started laughing at me and pointing out to the other kids that I was so fat I made that divot in the ground when I fell on it.

Yep, that’s one of my very earliest memories.  Shitty, huh?

I didn’t tell you this to feel sorry for me.  I told you this to paint a picture.  You see, as someone who was made fun of throughout my childhood, the image of myself as an adult was effected.  Greatly.

It’s funny, because I’ve always (or for the most part) portrayed myself as confident.  And I am.  To a degree.  I’m confident in who I am and what I stand for.  That, my friends, is because my parents raised me that way.  Thankfully!

What I haven’t been confident about was how I looked.  Even when I was actually thin, I still felt like the fat kid who made divots in the asphalt.  I am 27 and I can honestly say that I have NEVER felt 100% good about the way I looked.  EVER.  I could sit here and blame The Mean Girls, but in reality, there comes a time when you need to buck up and take responsibility.  Sure, might make it harder, but still – I’m responsible for me.

My weight loss story dates back a few years.  But I’ve recently re-committed myself (after losing/gaining the same 30lbs for 3 years).  I’ve been on Weight Watchers and working with a trainer for about 6 months weeks now.  I’ve lost 27 pounds.  And have gained an entirely new version of me.

I caught a reflection of myself and had to do a double take.  I didn’t even recognize what I saw.  I looked like me, but different.  For the first time ever, I saw me.  The real me.  Not the girl who was picked on about weight.  I saw Jennifer.  I saw the fighter.  I saw the lover.  I saw the woman who is taking charge and making a change.  And let me tell you, it was nothing short of AMAZING!

yeah, I think I'm a rockstar...don't burst my bubble ;)


Here's the Bio & Photo I used when we first launched in case you missed it...

Hey! I’m Jen S., the other Fit Camp Counselor, and I’m on a mission to prove you can lose weight, look great, and still drink beer while doing it. Weight has been in the forefront of my mind for as long as I remember. It wasn’t until I started dating my husband nearly 7 years ago that I kinda stopped caring and before I knew it, I was 220 pounds (I’m 5’8”). Over three years, I lost/gained 30-40 pounds. It wasn’t until March 2012 (at 191 lbs) that I finally decided that enough was enough. I joined Weight Watchers and stopped making excuses about working out.

My Goal: Ultimately, to create a healthy skinny lifestyle combined with working out and eating right that is maintainable. My goal weight is somewhere between 135-145lbs.

Other tidbits: I am a 27 year old newlywed with 2 rescue doggies, building my photography & design business. I believe in hard work, determination, love, faith, local brews, and a really good glass of wine. I think I’m a comedian, am super sweet, but I don’t tolerate bullshit. Excuses, while legitimate sometimes, are still excuses.

peace & love
jen s.

5 comments:

  1. Great post! I love the rock star picture!

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  2. You are a rock star! And I love that you're drinking beer while doing it. No way will I give up my alcohol completely. Some nights, Mama just needs a drink. :)

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  3. Rockstar! No bubble bursting here!

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  4. Thank you for the post and for the work you are putting in to this blog and the FB page! I love reading other women's stories and knowing I am not the only one struggling out there and that I can do it too!

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