Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Breaking Point

Hi, I'm Vivian, 20 years young (21 in a month, let the party begin!). I have an awesome husband we've been married for 1.5 years, and 2 beautiful babies a boy almost 2 and a girl just about 5 months. Full time stay at home mom and wife. Cleaning poop, puke, dishes, floors and everything in between. All the while living, loving and learning how to get fit and healthy along the way.

So now that I have introduced myself, I want to tell you all about the day I hit my breaking point. When I first started dating my husband I was about 130lbs. The smallest I have ever been, now I haven't ever really been big. I had those few awkward years in middle school where I was a bit chubby, but doesn't everyone have those.
Me - 135lbs right before I got pregnant.

Anyway, I found out I was pregnant January 2010, I was so delighted to find out I was going to be a mommy. I always thought I was one of those girls who would drop the baby weight with in the first week or two after birth. Boy was I WRONG! The day I went in to have my son I weighed in at 200lbs. After having him I absolutely hated how I looked but was too lazy and had too many excuses to do anything about it.

2 weeks before having my son (yes, I am a fisherwoman!)
I got married May 2011, and was 185lbs, I am truly sad to look at my wedding pictures and see that fat girl that was too lazy to look great on her wedding day. (Excuse the pity party) August 2011 I found out I was pregnant again and was determined to not gain another 60lbs. I ended up gaining about 40, nothing fit me from prepregnancy but I was in denial that I was up to a size 16. 
Wedding Day

The day that forever changed me was in the middle of June 2012, the hubs got tired of hearing me complain about having nothing to wear so he was determined to find me some new pants. He decided to go into Buckle first, not realizing that their jeans were like $100. So luckily I got out of that store after only one pair didn't fit.
39 weeks with my daughter

Then it was off to J.C.Penny, he kept suggesting all different pairs of pants so I finally picked a few out to shut him up. Went to the dressing room with 8 pairs of pants and not one of them fit me. I sat in that dressing room bawling my eyes out for a solid 10 minutes, long enough for him to come find me. He didn't understand why I was so upset and just told me to find a bigger size. I understand he is a guy so he has no idea how a bigger size feels to a woman, especially a post baby hormonally crazy woman.

We went to a few other stores that I found nothing I wanted to try on, I had already broken down and realized that I needed to do something about myself before I got even more depressed. As we drove home in silence, (I'm sure he was just pissed that we wasted a whole day shopping for nothing), I made up my mind. That day I decided I would not be the fat, crying girl in the dressing room, I would not be ashamed to go out with friends because I looked fat in everything I wore, and I would NOT let myself feel the way I felt that day EVER again.

So I started eating right, and recently started working out religiously, I recently found Mama's blog and joined the fitness challenge (thank you Jens!) and that has just given me more motivation and more support than ever to get to my goal, and to start feeling good about myself again.

I stared my journey at 195lbs, today I am 172lbs. I have a ways to go (my goal is 135) but already see change, my husband has been so supportive through this journey, and now I have all of Fit Camp behind me to see the results that I have been wishing for for the past 2.5 years! GO Team!
Me today!

And one more of my adorable babies =)



4 comments:

  1. Those 'ah moments' change us in so many ways! .. congrats on your progress! You can do it!

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  2. Congrats on your loss so far... I have no doubt that you'll be seeing 135 in the near future!!

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  3. Vivian, thanks for sharing your story and introducing yourself. You should be very proud of your progress so far and I look forward to your journey towards goal! ~ Jen J.

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  4. Great post! I think most of us have had at least one day of crying in a dressing room. You can choose how to go on from there. Some drown it in food and others like you use it for motivation. WTG!!

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