Sunday, September 30, 2012

Struggles. // Machelle M.

This is a hot mess of writing ladies! I apologize now.....

Okay so I've struggled with this since I said I would submit a guest blog. This morning I was so frustrated with the scales the words just started flowing. I know some of you other ladies know what I'm talking about----- the Wednesday morning weigh in. I was up 3 mother freakin' pounds! 3!!!!!

Here is a little of my story...I've struggled with my weight forever.  Since the birth of my first child 20 years ago.  I thought I was overweight at 140.  I would love to see 140.  Heck at this point I just want to see 189!  I've done the yo-yo thing forever.  Lose weight...gain weight...lose weight....gain weight. 

My husband has went through a major weight change....losing over 90lbs in 2 years.  We share the same physician. When I went to see our physician in April (he knows how much I've struggled with weight) he said, "I don't know why you don't do what your husband does. He can help you."  Well hell's bells....like I hadn't thought of that.  You see I'm stubborn...and I hate to ask for help.  I am very dependent and was a single mom for many years.  Even though I knew my husband had found the golden ticket (that's a blog for another day) it was hard for me to say, "okay help me, give me a piece of that ticket."  I stewed over what my most favorite doctor said and finally I came clean with my husband and asked him to help me.  This was mid-April.   This is my weight tracker since April each week (sometimes twice per week):

starting weight: 198
May 4: 194.4
May 6: 196.8
May 18: 195.2
June 1: 194.4
June 8: 194.6
June 15: 197.2
June 22: 195.4
June 29: 195.4
July 6: 195.4
July 27: 194
Aug 3: 194.8
Aug 9: 196.2
Aug 17: 194.2
Aug 24: 193.6
Aug 29: 192.0
Aug 31: 191.8
Sep 5: 190
Sep. 12: 190
Sep 14: 190
Sep 19: 193....freaking 193!

Did my husband struggle like this?   Nope, he had some plateaus, but never went up and down like I do (I have an incredible before and after picture of him on my facebook page). I've cried, I've screamed, I've gotten angry, I've wanted to GIVE UP.  Here is the thing....every time I want to give up I know that I can't.

I know that even though the scales are a dirty, dirty whore I am getting healthier.   I know that my size 18s are hanging off of me.  I know that the 16s are getting loose.  I know that inches are coming off my waist, my hips and even my boobs.  Most of all I know that by exercising and eating healthier I am adding years to my life.  I am reducing my risk of heart disease and cancer.  I am getting closer to my ultimate goal of being medication free.  So I don't quit.  I keep going and going and going.

Machelle D. Mullins (I hope my words help somebody out there...if you are struggling you are not alone!)

7 comments:

  1. Yes your words do help someone! Me....I feel like that all the time. But here lately I have really been trying hard to tell myself that it isn't about the number on the scale but more about how I feel! I'm actually going to try to do a no-scale October! I wish you the very best and remember we are here going through the exact same thing at the same time!

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  2. YOU are not alone either... I'm struggling too, but in a different way. (Blog post going up tomorrow about it actually!) Thank you for sharing your struggle... it definitely helps to know that I'm not alone.

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  3. It's hard as f*ck! Just sayin! Keep at it girl!! I'm struggling myself lately (gaining weight with fertility drugs which sucks ass)! One day at a time, right?

    www.yo-yo-mama.com

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  4. We all know it is easier for men to lose weight. Though for the life of me, I will never understand why. We give birth shouldn't losing weight be easier for us? Lol....Anyway, know that you are not struggling alone! We are all mad at our scales right along with you and we will still succeed! Keep up the great work.

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  5. Wow. Thanks so much ladies! Your support is incredible and you are all right it is hard but we can all do it. Thanks again!!!

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  6. Thanks for writing this. I've been going up and down, yo-yoing by a few pounds for months now. I've been beyond frustrated and have been wondering what it is going to take for me to really get motivated. I'm so glad that I found this blog and the ladies in it that are writing. Thanks for being real, even when it's painful and raw and not so pretty. It helps to know that you are not alone. :)

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  7. Thanks Erin. It does help knowing we are not alone. I am so very blessed and thankful that I found this group of ladies. It does keep me motivated and helps when I really want to skip the workouts.

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