Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Going In Reverse. // Jen J.

I am pissed off, frustrated, and I want to cry.  Last Wednesday I weighed 174.6 and today I weight 176.2.  I'll add that on Monday I weighed 177.  This is not  where I wanted to be for our last weigh-in on the spreadsheet!  Folks, I did the dreaded back step and it SUCKS!  That's a gain of 2ish pounds in a week and losing that amount took me a few weeks.  Not to mention, I just finished RI30 (which I liked better than 30DS) - all four weeks with only 3 rest days and my little gain erased any movement I saw on the scale.

How did this happen?  Well I had a little rendezvous with food this past weekend.  I traveled home to Michigan to have a reunion with my college roommates and to celebrate my grandfather's 90th birthday.  But, like a good little biotch, I took Jillian with me and I had my way with her twice in my parents living room.

Although I remained faithful to my girl Jillian - the same cannot be said for MFP.  Calorie counting on the road is difficult, let alone when you are faced with cocktails with the girls and home cooking.  Honestly, I don't feel like I did horrible, certainly wasn't as bad as I once was - just a few cocktails and how could I not have dessert at my grandpa's party?  OH hell, there may have also been some cheesy potatoes, polish sausage, and wings mixed in there too.

Anyways, I'm annoyed.  I feel like it's going to be impossible to reach and then maintain goal.  In order for me to lose, I've been doing Jillian for two months, plus on most days I do a second workout.  Sometimes I just go for a walk, sweat my vajazz off in hot yoga, or go for a run.  Plus, up until this weekend I've been pretty diligent with tracking the calories on MFP.  I just don't know how I can sustain this in the long run.  Anyone else feel like this?  How in the hell can I keep this up??

As I type this, I acknowledge that I might be a little dramatic and as I put my words down I am coming to my senses.

Bottom line hookstars - there are going to be ups and downs.  There are going to be things worth celebrating and sometimes there's going to be stressful situations.  But it's the overall picture that should speak for our journey.  Overall, I am STILL down 23ish pounds.  A few L-Bs may have crept up - but I do not have to let them stay.  I will not let them define this journey.  It's all about catching yourself before you completely fall.  Don't let 2 pounds become 5 and then 10.  I'm back to my routine and have access to my food.  So back on my horse I go.......

And despite my fatty weekend, I did experience two NSVs.  I am now wearing my extended calf boots over skinny jeans - these are my first pair of skinnys and last year there was not enough extra room in the boot for the jeans and my calf.  Also, I had the confidence to test out the strength of this rope.  This swing is on family land in Michigan (Up North for any Michiganders reading this) and I grew up riding it - but I hadn't done it in years!  Probably like 15 years or so.  Shit is so much scarier as adults but my 90 year old grandpa gave it a go so how could I not?!

Keep on, keeping on!
Jen J.

12 comments:

  1. I am completely with you on this one. I lost 23 lbs for my wedding and then when everything got crazy I stopped going to the gym. Which was fine when I still ate well. But I don't do that anymore and I can FEEL it. I'm trying to find the motivation to go back to the gym, but it is hard. One day at a time I suppose.

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  2. I can't believe I just read this; I just stepped on the scale and I am up two pounds since Sunday. (Ironically, this puts me at 23.5 pounds lost as well. I liked it so much better when I could say I lost 25 pounds, bah. Sunday morning I broke into the 170's at 179.5, as of this morning I am 181.5. Plus being in the 170's felt so good.) I wanted to cry. Or throw my scale down the stairs. Or both.

    Then I went and took my measurements and I am down .5 inches in my waist since Sunday. I am also down .5 inches in my thigh. (The other body parts stayed the same.)

    While I get the scale doens't mean everything, that measurements count too (if not more) and even though I saw the measurements go down, why can't the freakin scale go down too?!?!

    Anyways, I am going to use your upbeat view to keep going as my motivation.

    ~Jessica

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  3. I've had to come to terms with the idea that this is a marathon, not a sprint. There are going to be times when we feel like quitting, like things will never get better, but if we keep doing the Work, we will see the results. I think sometimes we need hurdles like a SMALL gain (and that's all it is - a small gain) to put us back in check & renew our determination.

    Our bodies are wonderful and frustrating, but keep up all the good things you've been doing! Your NSV's are awesome, you are an inspiration (I'm doing RI30 after 30DS only because of YOU), and I am proud of you! You Got This!

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  4. Thank you so much for this post. I did so well last week, down 4lbs! Then this weekend I again shoved food in my face like it was my job and back up 2lbs on Monday. I screamed! I cried! Why do I do this to myself??!?! It takes weeks to lose 2lbs but only a weekend of bad behavior to put them back on. UGH

    Its so hard to remember when faced with a yummy treat, maybe its food amnesia..I don't know! But it is comforting to know that others struggle with the same thing. Thanks for sharing your story!

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  5. I needed this post today! Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Thanks for sharing! This journey is hard and feels like u are all by yourself until u read a post like this and realize you aren't alone! Ups and downs happen to all of us! That's when the motivation from all the posts and determination from others help so much! Keep your head up and keep plugging along!!!

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  7. You're not being dramatic Jen... wait, maybe you are... but you're a girl and that's what we do! You may be feeling crummy and wondering how you'll be able to reach goal and maintain but the rest of us KNOW that you'll find a way! Wallow in your frustrations for a bit, they're completely normal... and then get back to kicking some ass!

    And seriously? No idea how you commit to Jillian so much. I'm doing it this month but I hate her workouts... hate them. And her. And Natalie. And Anita.

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  8. oh my baby jesus I want to try that rope swing! But yes I would be afraid that I'd break it! :) You're completely right, we cannot let a 2 lb gain become 5 or 10 lbs because that is how we all let ourselves get into this mess! It is a journey there will be some ups and downs. Obviously you have had more downs (weight loss) or you wouldn't be down almost 25 lbs. You've got the right attitude!

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  9. You are SERIOUSLY being way too hard on yourself!!! This stuff isn't easy...so you gained 2 lbs...I know it sucks especially when you're mostly good :) but it will be ok...you'll have a great week this week and it will get better...promise. Loved how you had Jillian twice in your parents living room...good beeotch :)

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  10. I know that feeling and it is "okay" to feel this way BUT just remember there is ALWAYS tomorrow to work on it. AND I agree I can't keep up with the food entries on any type of device. I have tried and I hate it. Hang in there girl:)

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  11. Ugh...I had a crappy weigh in today too. I showed a 1.4lb gain. I have been working out without missing a day and eating very healthy. I have had some NSVs tho. Down 1.5 inches in my waist and .5 in my hips soooo...I will try to stay positive because I KNOW the measurements show I a progressing in the right direction. I just really, really want to see a number NOT in the 170 range...keep on, keeping on!!

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  12. That's definitely a tough weigh in. Don't let it get you down! Let it motivate you to renew your efforts and double down on eating right. It's just one week. You can knock it out of the park next week!

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