Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Oh Snap! // Jen J.

I grew up feeling awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin.  Any bad traits to be inherited from my parents I have.

By the third grade I was already into glasses.  I started with plastic pink frames and moved on to  Sally Jesse Raphael red glasses.  I also had a lazy eye and in pictures my right eye would always be squinted.

That's me on the right.
Hair styling was not one of my mother's strong suits so I always had awkward hair too.  I remember getting frustrated with her because she couldn't master the french braid like all the other moms.  My eldest sister, K, and I are modeling our bad hair in this picture.  Note my Sally glasses.

I was also a husky child.  I grew up being teased that I had swallowed a seed and had a watermelon growing in my belly.

As I became an adolescent it seemed that my awkwardness blossomed.  I had serve acne and under went two rounds of Accutane, a very strong prescription drug that left my skin extremely dry and flaky and my lips swollen.  I also got braces in highschool complete with the rubberbands.

By the time I got to college, my face cleared up and my braces were gone, but I went from husky to fat.  I was inactive, ate too much fast food, and drank too much.  I also didn't have extra money to put towards nice clothes or getting my hair done (I started going gray at 18).

I've officially been in the adult world for ten years now and during this time I've been striving to finally be comfortable in my own skin.  I've lost some weight and am pursuing a healthy lifestyle.  Now that I'm working and have moved up the ranks I can finally afford nice clothes and to get my grays professionally covered every four weeks.  Am I 100 percent happy with myself?  The answer is NO!  But, I am on a mission.  A mission to love thy self.

As part of this mission, I just did something crazy.  Recently, I came across a Groupon for a boudoir photo shoot.  For $140 bucks you get a 1 hour photo shoot, with three outfit changes, and hair and make-up.  I consulted with my sister via text message and she encouraged me to do it and I purchased it.  I figured it was a great deal - seeing as I could barely get my hair and make up done for $140 let alone a photo shoot.

Seeing as I am not 100% with myself, I am going into this extremely nervous.  Will I ever be completely happy with myself? - I doubt it.  What I do know is that I am not getting any younger and I've come a long way.  Although I am sure my boyfriend will enjoy these snaps, I am doing this completely for me.  I deserve to feel beautiful and I want to memorialize my semi-youthful self  and my progress to date.  It's time to buck up and embrace me, faults and all.  Hell, no one is perfect.

I am officially booked for February 24, 2013, which gives me two months to improve myself and hopefully drop a few more pounds and tone up a bit.  I've given myself a few days to enjoy the Christmas festivities and it's back to being serious now.  #Operationboudoir is in full effect.  I'll be keeping you all abreast of my progress and of course when the big day comes I'll give you all the details.  Until then, I'm on a mission to find three good outfit choices that minimize my trouble zone (tummy) and maximize my assets (arms, shoulders, and boobs). 

If any of your readers have gone before me and braved the boudoir session, I'd love to hear any tips and suggestions you have in the comments section. 




6 comments:

  1. You are so brave! Good for you!! I would think a corsett with those thigh high stockings would be very sexy!! I can't wait to hear how it goes for you.

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  2. WHOO HOO!! way to rock it!!! i was also on Accutane.... ugh...damn acne!!!

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  3. Love your mission. We should all strive for the same. I am so proud of you for booking the photo session.

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  4. I did it around 16 mo after my son was born. It was an awesome experience! My photographer was amazing. A totally woman empowering moment... Seriously. Just plan to go and enjoy. You can take wine or champagne or something, but some don't recommend that. Don't forget the tip for the stylists.

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  5. Cant wait to hear about the experience! I'm dying to get some these pics, but I am not quite happy enough with myself to do it yet.

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  6. Girl, I felt like I was reading my own life...I had a lazy eye corrected by bifocal glasses starting in first grade, wore a Catholic uniform and got braces in sixth grade. Can you say trifecta of nerdliness?! I was also short and barrel bellied. I guess lucky for me, I was clueless. I mean I heard the teasing, but I was blessed with the beat of my own damn drum. You can see my third grade photo on my about page of my blog.

    Anyway, my goal is to drop some more el bees and do the boudoir shots for myself. I hope you have an awesome experience!

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