Monday, April 1, 2013

Relationships Require Reps, Too! // Christy M.

Hi, Fit Campers!  I don’t have a blog, but I’m no stranger when it comes to guest posting or stalking blogs.  I love them and don’t know what I did on the internet before I found my love for all things blog related.  Thanks for taking the time to read a little about how my fitness journey has been going.

In July of 2012, I was excited to see that my shipment from Victoria’s Secret had arrived.  I ripped open the package, ran to my room, and rushed to put on my purchase.  The person looking back at me in the mirror was not the person I expected to see.  The Summer of 2011, I could have worn a two piece and not have felt too overly conscious.  2012 was a different story.  The two piece was not public appropriate and I wouldn’t even show it to my boyfriend.  There’s something entirely different about letting someone see you in a bikini compared to your undies.  At least for me.   The next morning I stepped on the scale and pretty much knew what it was going to say.  It was a couple pounds worse than I had expected at 158 pounds.  I’m 5’4” and have a curvy build.  I know that if I hadn’t put on that swimsuit I probably would still be “ok” with how my weight was creeping up.  I’m getting older, right?  I’m not built like I was in high school.  I have curves now.  These are all the excuses that kept running through my head.  

I decided to start running.  I ran a 5k after 8 weeks and then ran a half marathon 8 weeks later.  I was a runner.  I’m now at 138 pounds and so close to my goal weight.  But, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you ladies about.  I was so sure that when I dropped the weight I would be completely happy with my life.  I have a long-term relationship, a great job, a house, dogs who love me, supportive family, etc.  But a few weeks ago, I decided that one of those things wasn’t as “fun” as I thought it should be.  So, I just decided to end it.  I broke up with my boyfriend.  I was willing to work on my weight and fitness, but for some reason I didn’t want to work on our 3-year relationship.  

He moved 4 hours from the city he’s always lived in to be with me.  He loves video games, is naturally slender, and isn’t always the most sensitive guy.  He doesn’t really like to try new things and I just thought that I needed someone who checked all the things off my list.  I broke up with him on a Saturday night and called my BFF Sunday morning.  I was devastated that a relationship I thought was going to be forever was now over.  She said some things to me that really opened my eyes.  

BFF: “I’m so proud and inspired by the changes you’ve made for yourself this year.  You’ve really gotten your shit together.  You’re excited to work out and see your body changing.  You deserve someone who is there to give you an “atta girl” when you leave for a race/run and to get excited for you.”  Our conversation lasted quite a bit longer, but I realized that my breaking up with him was the first time that I had really laid out what was a deal breaker for me.  I hadn’t put it in those words before so he had no idea how big of a deal it really was.  When something isn’t working for us in a personal relationship (family, husbands, kids, friends, dogs, etc), we have to speak up for ourselves.  Later that Sunday afternoon the guy and I decided that we both wanted to put the work in.  As the great Jersey Shore has taught us, “Teamwork makes the dream work”.  

In my delusional dreams, I was going to get fit and drop weight to get happy.  Everything else would just fall in place.  Life is work.  It should be fun, but it’s not going to always be easy.  Even if you’re fit and healthy.  I had to figure out what makes me happy when I’m not focused on my healthy lifestyle.  But, my relationship deserves the same focus and attention that I give to myself.  After all, I’m half that relationship and want it to be a part of my life forever.  So, I’m working on it and giving him more of the things he needs, as well, so we both feel like we’re in the right place.  

I’ve seen numerous ladies mention how emotional this journey is.  I think my failure was focusing so much on the fitness that I didn’t look around at the rest of my life, too.  Thank you ladies for helping me get my shit together with relationships in my life.  I had the career thing down, but I was a mess in other areas.  You’re my daily dose of inspiration for health, fitness, weight loss, sex, and so many other things. 

11 comments:

  1. Thank you for posting this. Its really put things in perspective for me. I'm going to work harder on those relationships. I love reading your comments on the fit camp page too!

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    1. Thanks! It was easy for me to lose focus on the rest of my life. I'm finding that balance.

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  2. I sure love my guy! I love that he's patient with me while we figure out how to enjoy each other for the rest of our lives. Thanks for letting me share!

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  3. I am so glad you guys decides to work it out and that you are taking charge with your life.

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  4. My husband and I are so much closer now that we both exercise together. We've come a LONG LONG way.

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  5. This is so important, and we often ignore it, thanks for sharing and putting things into perspective! Yes, focussing on our health is important, but so is making time to focus on our loved ones as well! :)

    Melissa @ http://mylifeasafolz.blogspot.com/

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  6. I think people forget that relationships are work. It's not the unicorns and glitter that Disney movies or chick flicks "teach" us. Good for you for realizing your worth but for also realizing that it just wasn't him but you both needed to make changes.

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    1. Nicki, you just put it perfectly. That's exactly the big girl lesson I needed to learn. Now, to keep on growing!

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  7. Jen, because of your constant inspiration and ability to make me happy reading your posts, I nominated you for the Sunshine Award! Details up in my post today!

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  8. Just want to say that I am inspired by you and miss your beautiful face and the good times we used to have!! Maybe we can plan a run date in a city somewhere???

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