Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Day 23 - Pineapple pussy.

Six days post transfer: Implantation continues.

I still feel like I have period cramps.
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Tooooooooot Tooooooooooot!  If you are trying to get knocked-up hop on board the Pineapple Express!  When you are going through this process it is amazing what you will find via google and try.  For example, did you know pineapple allegedly is an aid to embryo implantation?  I just happen to  love pineapple so sure as shit on the day of my embryo transfer I cut myself a fresh one and have been gnawing on it every day since.

Apparently, I am not alone.  Blog commenter Jeanine left me a comment on transfer day suggesting the same and yesterday I got a text from Curly-Q regarding the fruit.

Curly-Q:  I feel crazy admitting to this, but I've been eating a chunk of pineapple core every night.  Have you heard anything about that?  It's supposed to help with implantation.

Me:  It's not crazy!  I did the same thing!!  I bought a fresh pineapple the day of transfer.

Curly-Q: Did you?!  I have my last core chunk tonight!

Me:  I sure did!  Sometimes I put chocolate syrup (and whipped cream and maraschino cherries)  on it to make it like a desert.  I am also keeping my feet warm with cabin socks.  Warm feet equal warm uterus.

This is what crazy ladies trying to make babies talk about.  If I was not trying to procreate and was reading this I would probably vomit in my mouth in annoyance while gurgling, I swear to God, I will never be like them.

If by chance you are still reading but not trying to make a baby - well, I have good news.  Pineapple still might be the fruit for you.  Especially, for those single gals, I still love to live vicariously through.  Rumor has it that pineapple can make your lady lips smell like a fruit bowl.  No shit!  In fact, there was a whole Kardashian episode dedicated to pineapple pussy.  Don't believe me, google that fun fact for yourself.

Now you know.

 - nineteen eighty

4 comments:

  1. hahaha stop I am dying. hilarious. i totally ate pineapple and wore my fuzziest socks for the first couple days after the IUI.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Omg you are hilarious. I have also heard it's suppose to make man juice taste better if you're into that. I'm hoping this time flies by for you. Waiting is the worst.

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